It was started when my mom left from home. I thought I was okay because I have friends, I keep smiling, the truth is I am not. I remember that time, I was crying on the phone and I don’t want to talk to her, I remember that I stop her. I know she have to do it cuz’ My father he never show up after I was born. He disappeared that nothing happened, my mother and my grandparents was so upset. I started to keep all my pain since I was a kid, I know how to cope all of this insecurities and always keep smiling even though I am not.
I grow up struggling for not showing my true emotions like saying no to everyone or showing my anger. I always keep saying “its alright” “its fine” even it’s not. This thing put me on miserable life. I could not be consisted to everything I could not even show who I really was. the truth is I am really struggling to show my emotion, I am. Sometimes I’m more aggressive like being funny and the next day, I have this kind of feeling that you want to be alone.
what kind of life I choose right now? I know I have history but I don’t have identity. everything, there is no value to me or a thing it would last long. I’m still confused.
H I D E
Dear Mr. Glendora,
It’s been years that I been searching this theory since the ancient time they always mention this word HIDE and I have no idea that what they talking about that is why I spend my whole time to search the answer. It makes me something like interested of this study when I found out that what means is and I would like to share this with you now because I have no time to meet you. They are already here chasing me and they know that I’m searching the answer about them and they don’t like to know there Secret ever since the ancient era.
The sound of the city, train, cars, bus or people talking. The sound of nature which is like peace. But everything you heard and you see is like there is missing and you can felt that someone is watching you every day. It’ like someone is Hiding, I know you can’t felt it or seen it because they are hiding something but you can felt them if they want too. For 10 years I search this all artifacts I found are just the same sentence “HIDE THEY ARE WATCHING YOU” from the Egyptian to Mayan and from the Chinese. I translated them all but they are just the same sentence. I search everything I can and my own theory but when my idea come out that, What if they are a beast or monster I mean something that an intelligent species are hiding that we can’t see our naked eyes but we can felt it. When I conclude my theory I never thought that they are just real. This beast can communicate by telepathy hiding in the dark. They know everything the human weakness or the cycle of our life. They know how to kill us but they want one by one. And now it’s time to tell the world that the human is endangered.
Since I start being a fan of ART, there is one person that pursue my own creativity and that was Lady Gaga she believes that I can do it all. I’ve searched an inspirational artist and different types of creativity and style.
She has a unique style and lot of ideas come out. I’ve been starting following her on twitter and Instagram, I watch her on youtube every time she uploads new videos. We are not the same style but there was something about her creativity that inspired me a lot.
A big Gaga fan like me, I start to know this monster since Lady Gaga Born this way era on Littlemonsters.com . She was very amazing and she always posting her creativity on lady gaga fan base websites and she has a unique style.
The dark soul of a man, a goodness of a woman. There is no equality which people make an idealism life by being who they are by destroying the goodness of angels. How can I save the world with a pure heart which is they hunt one by one by an evil mind which had a homophobia would control the soul that they been for whole life. We try to figure out, how to solve the problem each one of them if the world is not yet united. They have different ideas that create a chaos and a domination which is hard to rid each one of it. The recreation is the only choice and lets people share their ideas and unite them if it’s good or bad and choose what they love, what they like and what they wanted to create. The recreation of a human artistic heart the feelings that they want to share. But if the world without sadness and hate there is no fun. But the equality of all things that control everything to make it equal and control the limit of human goodness and badness.
And say yeah that’s it and you scared to criticize of a man work, you can say okay that’s good or need to improve. How can the world make it better place if you don’t a confident to say the truth that you felt since before. How can you say the feeling to show off a person, in the end of a day you would regret what you created because that’s it, it hard rewrite but you rewrite the new beginning? The recreation is the thing which needs to restart and need to begin. The land of stories which is the need to write again and let it be. The rules are like you like bragging down not letting the people share the artistic visions.
I can’t sleep by over thinking, I used this a lot when there is something new ideas or sometimes I’m thinking of my crush but this is really different. I was trying to think how should I live and how do I start from the beginning. Ideas and thinking for the future are not the same. But the thing is that I’m scared to do it and those ideas need to do. My own laziness is brought me down to the bottom of the sea is like you can’t swim because you are heavy.
I really wanted to find some motivation to start it, I am a dreamer and I remember that my best friend told me that the reason why she supports of me because of weirdness.
Should I take those challenge to face my fear and start the new beginning going to the way that where I am happy? what do you think?